Secret hospital. (A gundam wing soap opera)
by Bluediamond and Blackdiamond
Summary: Hilde: I'll turn out the lights. *Turns out the lights too soon so Heero set fire to his finger* Heero: *Whispers* *Censored* *lights the candles*Hilde: This is so romantic Heero....
1. Introduction.

A Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

**This has mild self insertation.**

**But don't worry, we are only at the start to explain the rolls everyone will play and we will be the directors^^**

**And one more thing is Shenni-chan is Blackdiamond.**

**Blue is Bluediamond, me.**

Heero: A soap opera?

Duo: Uh-huh!!! We're gonna be on TV!

Wufei: THIS IS INJUSTICE! I REFUSE TO DO THIS!!!

Heero: She doesn't own the copyrights so she can't make us do anything.

Relena: No. But if we DON'T Duo's going to very upset.

Duo: You..you mean we ARN'T gonna be on...T...TV?

Quatre: No Duo! We're still...still deciding.

Duo: I don't care if she doesn't own us! Wanna be on TV!! *Sobs*

Trowa:...........

Dorothy: Don't you all want a chance to be stars?

Trowa:..........

Quatre: Er...well if Dorothy wants it.

Heero: *Growls*

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Duo: PWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!

Blue: *Forces them on to the set* Now my sister's gonna hold up the scripts.

Shenni-chan: *Grinz evilly and waves*

All: O.o

Hilde: We can't stand listening to Duo like this....

Cathy: What are we going to be?

Blue and Shenni-chan: We're glad you asked *Once again grin evilly.*

Blue:well this the shows called secret hospital GDW and Heero and Relena, you two are going to be doctors who are secretly in loooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooove. 

Shenni-chan: *Smirks at the horror on Heero's face* Duo your going to be a bad guy who tries to abduct Relena...

Blue: Coz you think she's a babe^^

Duo: Whoo! I can do that! *Practices* Relena baby don't u want me? Drop that baka Heero. 

Heero:...Maxwell....

Relena: *Blushes* Oh Duo... 

Shenni-chan: No! You love Heero!

Relena: Oh...I know....sorry.

Blue: Quatre and Cathy, you two are the gentle nurses who care tenderly for their patient who has had slightly slit vocal cords as a result of a near fatal accident and can hardly talk-

Shenni-chan: That's where Trowa comes in.

Trowa:...

Blue: See how perfectly we planned the rolls?

All: O.o

Shenni-chan: Dorothy you work in the hospital as a candy stripper but you're really a spy.

Duo:....Why does SHE get that roll?!? That's cool!

Shenni-chan: She's more of a nosy girl who spies on peoples love affairs and tries to get the news papers involved...you wouldn't want that...would you Duo? *Sweet smiles*

Duo: -_-'

Blue: Hilde is a REAL candy stripper...

Duo: WHOO! Hil-de! Take it **ALL** off!

Blue:..........and....she unfortunately falls upon an evil plot to smuggle drugs in to the hospital in the form of prescription drugs.

Hilde: OH WOW! And here I was thinking I'd have a boring roll....

Duo:...So...no one strips? 

Shenni-chan: Duo, a candy striper is a girl or boy in a hospital that pushes a cart with magazines and breath mints and crud like that on it.

Duo:...Oh....

Blue: Don't worry Duo, you get to abduct Relena when she's in the shower.

Duo: OH WOW! Relena girl! How do you look with out your clo-

Heero: *Swings a baseball bat and Duo goes flying!* Maxwell. DON'T EVER say that again.

Duo: *Coughs windedly* What-ever-you-say. Heero-buddy.

Quatre: NO! We shouldn't be fighting!!! We have to start soon or we'll get thrown out! 

*Une and Treize walk in* 

Une: I'm sorry we're late. What did you want us for?

Blue: *Smiles sweetly* Soap opera.

Duo: We're gonna be on Tv! I'm the bad guy!!!

Treize: Excuse us. We'll be going now.

*Door shuts and locks*

Blue and Shenni-chan: You ain't goin' anywhere soon. *Hydrolic steel doors shut and lock.* 

Heero: They had us trapped from the start.

*Chicken wire covers all doors.*

Shenni-chan: Une and Trieze you two are the evil people smuggling drugs into the hospital in the form of prescription ones^^

Blue: *Hears knocking on door* 

Shenni-chan: *Presses another button and Sally apears inside*

Wufei: How did the onna get in?

Blue:...um....

Shenni-chan:....er...

Both: Magic?

Sally: That was strange. I was just standing outside and then...why are there cameras everywhere?

Duo: WE'RE GONNA BE ON TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blue: And you, Sally, are going to be a CIA...or FBI agent hired to stop the drug smuggling criminals.

*Une and Treize shift their feet nervously*

Sally: Hey that's a pretty good roll.

Shenni-chan:...and Wufei's your partner.

Wufei:...WHHHHHHHHHAATTTT?! Why do *I* always seem to get paired with WOMAN?!

Blue: Calm yourself Wufei, at least you get to bust "Onna" butt. *Looks at Une*

Wufei:....Injustice.....But the busting part I like.

Blue: So we're all ready? 

Shenni-chan: Lights,

Blue: Camera,

Duo: Action!

Blue and Shenni-chan: That's OUR line baka!!!

Duo:...oh...but I so wanted to say it...

Blue: Lights!

Shenni-chan: Camera

Blue and Shenni: Action!! 


	2. Shark attack (Jaws music) NO DUO!

A Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

**And we don't own Gundam wing, don't sue us, we are only children and we don't have $1000 to pay you with^^**

...erm...why do we do that? We're safe on Ff.net...DOH!

Shenni-chan: Scene one! Heero and Relena on the beach! *Holds up large cue cards*

Heero: *Reads the cue cards* I AM NOT DOING THIS!! I have to yell "Bombs away!"?!

Blue: You get paid?

Shenni: Lights, Camera, ACTION!

*Relena and Heero are on a beach scene...the sea is a private swimming pool with wave mahine included.*

* Relena and Heero are swimming in the "sea"*

Heero: *Picks up Relena and throws her* Bombs away!

Relena: *Shreiks and giggles*

*Heero and Relena continue swimming*

Relena: Heero, I think we should go back now, our break at the hospital might be over. Oh no! Rain!...Heero?

Heero: *Is caught in seaweed* Relena! Their's a cruiser coming! Save your SELF!

Relena: No Heero! I won't leave you! *Swims over* 

Heero: *Goes under and his hand slowly sinks...it's just about to dissappear when huge waves start coming and engulf him.*

Relena: *Starts crying and swims over* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOO! *Searches frantically under the waves*

*Bubbles come up*

Relena: *Swims over to the bubbles and grabs something* *Turns around* Oh no!...Sharks! *Jaws music starts playing*

Blue: CUT! Duo! We don't want JAWS music! We need drama music played in cheesy soap operas like the one we're making!!

Duo:...Oops sorry!

Blue: Okay lets start filming from "ohnosharks" Action!

Relena: Oh no!...Sharks! *Cheesy drama music continues to play* Heero! *Grabs his hand and starts pulling him to shore...just in time...well almost in time. The shark bites his leg.*

*Under water Duo grins, a cheesy shark costume on him, with his teeth on Heero's leg....Duo lets red food colouing out.*

Relena: Oh no! They've bitten him! *Pulls him on to shore*

Shenni: CUT! Okay that was...wellll...great...for begginers.

Duo: *Comes up, his face stained red* Thanks! 

Blue: Oh hell! MAKE UP! 

Shenni: COFFE BREAK! We have glazed, sprinkled, iced, custard filled and cream filled donuts.

Blue: We also have diet coke and low fat donuts for the girls.

Shenni: You ain't allowed to put on ANY wait during the soap opera.

Duo: *Has had make up done* Oh boy! *Eats a whole box*

Heero: *Sits up* There arn't gonna be any left.

Shenni-chan: *Checks store room filled sky high with donuts* I'm sure we'll be fine.

*All eat donuts and drink coffe and diet coke*

Shenni: ACTION!

Relena: *On shore* Oh Heero...*Sobs* Wait! My cell! *Calls hospital on cellphone* There's been an accident with a shark! 

*Hangs up* Oh Heero! Please hold on!

Duo: *Runs over and starts hitting Heero's chest* LIVE DAMMIT! LIVE!!!!!

Heero: O-o-o-oMaE O-o-o-o-o KoRoSu-u-u-u-u....

Blue: CUT!

Duo: LIVE! *WHACK!* *WHACK!*

Heero: *PUNCH!* 

Duo: Heero! You're aliiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Shenni-chan: It's a SOAP! 

Duo: Oh.

Blue: TAke it from please hold on. Action!

Relena: Please hold on! *Gives CPR*

*Ambulance arrives*

Relena: Please take me with you! I'm a doctor at the hospital too!

Random surgeon: Okay miss, get in.

Shenni-chan: Okay CUT! Next scene is when Heero is all recovered and is gonna break up with Relena. 

But that scene isn't in this chapter coz I just HAD to put this up on FF.net^^...now.


	3. Relena and Heero break up and Trowa gets...

A Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

Blue: Okay Scene 2! Heero and Relena are on the beach again...but they arn't swimming.

Relena: Oh Heero. Isn't the sunset beautiful?

Heero:...Hn?

Relena: The sunset is beautiful, isn't it? Oh I'm so glad you made a full recovery *Dreamy eyes*

Heero:...Relena...I have to tell you something...

Duo: He loves ME dammit! ME ME ME ME! Duo MAXWELL! Heero loves....

Blue: Shush D-chan! You know I hate 1x2 pairings when Heero's straight and you arn't...Oopss....CUT!

Shenni-chan: *Sigh* Lets take it from "I have to tell you something"

Heero...I have to...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SCRIPT?!

Blue: *Sighz also* CUT! It's what you're getting paid to do. ACTION!

Heero:...I have to tell you something... 

Relena: What is it Heero? *looks dreamy coz she thinks he's gonna propose*

Heero: Relena i...

Relena: yes Heero? *looks exited and dreamy at the same time*

Heero: I've found someone else, i don't love you any more. *gets up to leave*

Relena: *looks as if she is going to cry* What? you...don't...love...me?

Heero: good bye Relena.

Relena: NO! HEERO! please don't leave me! 

Heero: I'm sorry Relena. *starts to walk away*

Relena: No! Heero! I can't live with out you! please come back! I love you!

Heero:...(how very Trowa like!)

Relena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HEERO!!*falls to the ground sobbing hysterically* 

Duo: *Sobs loudly* Heero you bastard! How could you! She loves you!....up your ass!

Blue: CUT!

Quatre: *Runs over* Duo! Calm down....it's just a soap.

Duo: It's Just *sob* so *sob* REAL!!!!

Quatre: Duo. In soap operas they always get back together in the end^^

Duo: WHYYYYY-Oh. *Brightens* Okay!

Blue: Take it from....HEERO!

Heero: Hn?

Shenni-chan: No! Take it from HEERO! Action!

Relena: HEERO! *Falls to the ground sobbing hysterically*

Heero: *Disappears into the sunset*

Relena: No............*sob sob*

Shenni-chan: CUT! Okay, end of scene 2...Duo tried to eat all the donuts last time so no coffe break.

All except Trowa: WHAT?!

Trowa:...

Blue: Uh....no coffe break for Duo...he he...-_-;

Duo: And she's in the shower! *Talking to Wufei* and I get to see her and I take her away-

Relena: Duo! Don't tell HIM!

Wufei: *Smirk*...clothless onna.

Duo: Heh heh!

Heero:...perverted little......

Blue: Scene three! Torwa comes into hospital after a near fatal accident.

Shenni-chan: Get in to the ambulance, Trowa, lie down so we can do the blood. 

Trowa:...*Lies down so they can "Do the blood"

Blue: Cathy and Quatre, you guys get in to the hospital room we've made over here so you can ge th doctors the medical instrument.

Trowa:...O.O

Shenni-chan: Hold still while I puit the blood on. *Does blood* Okay, Lights...

Blue: Wait! Duo, sit still while I put your blind fold on...

Duo: Woah! It's all dark!

All:...-_-;

Blue: Action!

Relena: Hurry, he' not breathing! *Pulls stretcher with Trowa on it out with help*

Heero: Take him to emergency care.

*They rush him to the "hospital room"

Heero: Quick Quatre. Hook him- 

Cathy: TROWA! *Faints* 

Quatre: Cathy! Cathy! Get water!

Duo: *Grabs random glass and runs over to Cathy, still wearing his blind fold and crashing into things.*

Duo: Is this Cathy? *Pours water on her* 

Quatre:...um...Duo?

Duo: Yes?

Quatre:...That was diet coke. 

Cathy: *Cough* ....My...face is sticky..... 

Duo:...heh heh....*Begins crashing his way back across the room to sit down*

Blue:...take it from...hook him up...ACTION!

Heero: Hook him up to life support.

Relena: Quatre! Can you X-ray his neck? 

Quatre: Right! *Runs to X-ray Trowa's throat*

Noin: He may not make it! I think he's going to flate line!

Trowa:..._______________________________________________ 

Relena: Oh no!

Heero: We're not going to loose him.

*Goes through boring hospital soap scenes* 

Trowa:.../\/\/\/\__/\/\/\/\_/\/\/\_______/\/\/\/\ 

Relena: He's normal!

Cathy *Mutters so no one hears* No he's not.

Noin: He's going to make it!

Cathy: Thank god

Quatre: Praise *Is going to say Allah but thinks better of it* goodness!

Heero: He's going to be okay...but he'll find it hard to talk.

Trowa:....................

Shenni-chan: Cut! That'll do! That's great! 

Blue: Duo, you can take your blind fold off.

Duo: WOAH! It's so dark.

Blue: Awww...Duo^^

All: ^_^;

I love Duo Lalalala!...Sorry! Blue will post this up now! Whee....See any mistakes tell Blue!

Black will want you to review!


	4. Hilde and Heero *Grinz evilly*

A Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

Shenni-chan: Okay the next scene is with Heero and the girl he left Relena for ^0^

Hilde:...*Blush*

Heero: Who is she? *Seems uninterested* 

Blue: She's-

Shenni-chan: -Read the script.

Heero: WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!!!!!

Duo:...*Pout* He gets all the girls...*Fumes in the corner*

Blue:...Not me Duo-sama! *Glomps him*

Duo: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS! *Hides in the corner* Psyco...

Blue:...Fine then.

Shenni-chan: Get in your places!

*All move*

Blue: Lights, Camera....ACTION!

Hilde:....Oh...Heero....wha are you doing here?

Heero: Same with you.

Hilde: I'm a candy stripper you know. I'm getting the magazines and-

Heero: WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blue: Cut DAMMIT!

Heero: I'm supposed to....?!!!

Shenni-chan: You're paid to do it.

Blue: And you DID leave Relena to be with her.

Heero:...Screw pay....and this is just your stupid plot.

Hilde: *Kicks him in the shin* Do it dammit.

Blue: Do it this time. Take it from I'm a candy stripper...............ACTION!

Hilde: I'm a candy stripper you know. I'm getting the magazines and-

Heero: *Kisses her*

Hilde:!!!!!!

Heero:....

Hilde: Heero! We arn't supposed to be doing this here.

Heero: I know.

Hilde:...Hehe...you're too much^^

Heero:...I'd better go.

Hilde: Yes Heero....say...come to my house tonight?

Heero: *Nod* *Walks out*

Hilde:...So cute................

Blue: CUT! Okay, that was.....really.....um.....

Shenni-chan: Not like that hentais!....Not like that!! It's just a romantic dinner over candles and Heero's gonna go home!!!!!

Duo: HE'D BETTER!

Blue:...possesive....so possesive...okay, next is just a scene with Trowa, Quatre and Cathy.

Quatre: *Smiles* We get to look after him^-^ 

Cathy: *Nods*

Trowa:....Why was *I* the one in the accident?

Shenni-chan: OHMIGOD! He can talk!

Blue: *Sigh* Get to your postitions....Lights Camera..ACTION!!!!!

Quatre: *Smile* How are you feeling today Mr Barton?

Trowa: *Nod*

Cathy: Better?

Trowa: *Nod*

Quatre: Ice cream?

Trowa: *Shakes his head*

Cathy: I see....

Quatre: Are you hungry?

Trowa:....*Shrug*

Cathy and Quatre:...^^;

Trowa: *Smiles cutely* (Kawaii...^^)

Quatre: Here's a glass of water and a complimentry pepper mint.*Sweet chibi eyes^0^*

Cathy: Just hit the red button if you need us. *Points to shiny red button*

Trowa *Eyes grow big*...'ton....

Cathy:...Now Trowa, don't try to talk so soon.

Trowa:...*Nod*

Quatre: Try and get some rest.

Trowa: *Nod*

*Cathy and Quatre leave*

Blue: And cut.

Shenni: That's it for today^^ Your rooms are THAT way.

Une: Can't we just go home?

Blue:...no.

Shenni-chan: ...you see, we know you won't come back.

Duo: *Shiny eyes* Can I bounce on the bed? 

Shenni and Blue:...Awwww....


	5. Noin and Zechs and *Gets hit in the mout...

Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

Blue:.......No one thought I could resist this right?

Noin:...Resist what?

Shenni-chan:...Why, you and Milliardo.

Blue:...Yeah...Her and Zechs.

Shenni-chan: Milliardo.

Blue: Zechs.

Shenni-chan: Milliardo!

Blue: Zechs!

Shenni-chan: Milli-

Zechs/Milliardo:....Just call me...what ever you want. The sooner this is finished the sooner we can leave. 

Blue and Shenni: Okay what ever you want! 

Heero:...So immature.....

Shenni: OKAY! Get in your places....Milliardo and Noin go to Milliardo's office. Lights....Camera...ACTION!

Noin:...Zechs....I want to talk to you about something.

Zechs: Yes Noin?

Noin:...It's about last night...

Zechs: Don't worry, the meeting went well. 

Shenni-chan: THAT'S not the script!!!! CUT CUT CUT!!!

Milliardo: Noin just....

Blue: NO! She's just following orders!....can I pet your hair? It looks so soft and shiny....

Zechs:....@_@

Shenni-chan: Take it from...it's about last night. AC-GODDAM-TION!

Noin:...It's about last night...

Zechs: *Frown*

Noin: WHAT?! *Looks stricken* You don't remember?? You are just so...

Zechs: No Noin...I just feel like I took advantage of you...

Duo: *Laughs silently in the background* 

Noin: *Smile* Oh no Zechs, that's not true. 

Duo: *Mouths "Hentais!" from behind camera* 

Milliardo: *Looks relieved* Thank god *Hugs her much like he did with Relena on Libra^^*

Noin: *Blush* Haha....we'd better get back to work...but everything's been so quiet since the accident that man had...when he had his vocal cords cut...that was such a miracle...I mean that he survived.

Zechs: *Lets go* Of course...work.

Noin: Did I make you forget? *Smiles innocently*

Milliardo: (Whee...all this Zechs/Milliardo alternating is making me dizzy.) *Smiles all hentai like^^* You'd better go.

Noin: *Wink* Yes sir. *Leaves*

Zechs:...She's cute...

Blue: CUT! That was great...but"...She's cute..." Isn't in the script.

Noin: *Blush* Oh...Zechs *Rolls her eyes* 

Duo: ....HENTAIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Wufei: It's a soap opera. But Maxwell is too thick to remember this.

Sally:...Wufei. (WHY does she seem to say that so much?)

Shenni-chan: A-HEM! Okay next scene involves Dorothy, Zechs and Noin.

Noin: *Eyes Zechs up* He isn't cheating on me is he?

Blue: Nah, Dorothy wants to have your little affair on the papers...that's all.

Noin and Milliardo: WHAT?!

Has anyone noticed that Zechs (Milliardo!) Has a really unfortunte number? (6)

Try saying Zechs-six really fast for ages (I am such a hentai^^...not.)


	6. Drugs.

Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

Blue: Okay, Milliardo and Noin are in the office and Dorothy is outside.

Shenni-chan: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Everyone else: @_@;

Blue:...Action.

Dorothy: May I come in doctor?

Noin: Oh!

Zechs: Come in....Hello...You're the new candy stripper arn't you?

Dorothy: Why, yes...But I came to-

Noin: *Grumpily* Is something wrong?.

Milliardo: If you ask Hilde, she'll tell you-

Dorothy: No, no *smirks* I just wanted to tell you two that I KNOW about your little...secret.

Noin:....What secret? 

Dorothy: You know what I'm talking about. 

Milliardo:.....No we don't.......

Noin: Would you please step out side? 

Dorothy: I don't THINK so. I want a raise.

Milliardo: What the hell?! You bust in here telling me you want a raise?! 

Noin: There's NO WAY-

Dorothy: I guess I'll just have to get you fucked-UH!

Shenni-chan:......

Blue:......

Duo: CUT!!!

Blue: *Weakly* Thanks.....Duo.......

Dorothy: Oopss...

Shenni-chan: WHAT WAS THAT?!!!!

Dorothy: Pun.

Blue: 'ights. 'amera. 'tion

Dorothy: I guess I'll just have to get you _fired_! 

Zechs: and HOW pray tell are you going to do THAT?!

Dorothy: Hmm....I've got footage of you and your sweet doctor on that _ahem_ night.

Noin:!!!

Zechs:!!!

Dorothy: Am I gonna get that raise or NOT?! 

Zechs:....You....you'll get the highest pay that there is for candy strippers.

Noin: *mumbles* and maybe some surgical treatment for those freaky eyebrows of yours.

Dorothy: WHAT DID YOU SAY BITCH?!

Noin: Um!!!! Nothing?

Dorothy: Good. Now I'll be seeing you if I want anything else. Later.

Zechs: Great. Just great. Why did YOU have to get us in to this...

Noin:! How could you! It was all YOUR idea! 

Zechs:.......*hangs head*

Shenni-chan: *Hides eyes and covers ears* 

Noin: Oh Zechs...*Kissies^.^*

Shenni-chan: CUT!!! DAMMIT! CUT!!! We wanna keep this PG-13 rated!

Blue: For suggestiveness ^.^

Shenni-chan: Mmph.

Blue: She's possesive.

Shenni-chan: *mummbles* Mine...mine....Milliardo.....mine........

Blue: And another 1xH Scene.

Heero:....*Swearingness*

Blue: and the perfect soldier finally shows emotion!

Shenni-chan: Just like the time when Relena ripped up his card.

Relena: *Blush* It was pay back! You on't know how EXPENSIVE that card was!

Heero: Really? That expensive....Relena...I...

Relena:....Heero......

Blue and Shenni: Shut the fuck up.

Relena:....Right.

Blue: annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd

Shenni: ^0^ ACTION!

Hilde: Heero!....I need to tell you something.

Heero: *Manages to look slightly hurt...amaaaazing....* Tonight isn't off is it?

Hilde:! How can you be worried about your love life at a time like this?

Heero: What's wrong?

Hilde: *Quietly* I just found out that some people posing as doctors are smuggling drugs out of the hospital! Some of it's deadly and is sold to junkies!

Heero: My god.

Blue: CUT! TRY SOME EMOTION! Action!

Heero: My god.

Blue: CUT!

Heero: My god!

Blue: CUT!

Heero:...*Etremely pissed* MY GOD!

Hilde: *Nod* Yeah I know! We have to inform Dr. Merquise immediatly.

Heero:...but we can't get close to him. Only new people and other with higher ranks can get to see him.

Hilde: Then we'd better go and inform Dr Relena right away!

Heero:...........right.

Blue: C-

Shenni: CUT!...I so wanted to say that ^.^ 

Blue: ....yeah.

Shenni:....Yeah!

Duo: YEAH!......Was I supposed to say that? 

Blue: Oh yeah! Duo your role's coming next! 

Duo: Yay! Lights, Camera-

Shenni-chan: On the next episode of: Gundam wing! Secret hospital!

Duo: #*$%!!!

Copy rights and all: Everyone knows who Gundam wing belongs to but the REAL secret hospital (Which isn't really much....only a couple of lines) Is from the spider man comic (They didn't make up ANY of this plot though! Me and Shenni-chan had the joy of that!) 

Shenni: Note, I am Black Diamond also! 


	7. Kidnapped.

Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

Duo: It's finally MY part!!!!

Relena: *Gulp* *Blush*

Duo: Eheh.

Blue: Lights! Camera! ACTION!!

Duo: *Sneaks past a dark bedroom*

Relena: *Hums in shower and feels embaressed*

Duo: *Snickers evilly*

Relena: Hmm? Is anyone there? Just let me get my....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Duo: Hey, pretty lady, you're coming with me!

Relena: *Sob* Just let me get a bath robe! *Note, this is all obscured by the shower curtain 'kay? We're scary but not perverted enough to let THAT show on Tv O.o*

Duo: What? Your bathrobe. Oh I don't think we'll be needing that.

Relena: Dammit! Let me get the bathrobe and I won't scream and alert the neighbours of your perverted evil kidnapping prescence!!!

Duo:.......fair enough.

Relena: *Gets into bathrobe the size of Jamaica.*

Duo: Okay lady, Lets go.

Relena: *Swallows* What're you gonna do to me?

Duo: *Grin* That's for me to know and you to find out very soon.

Relena: I.....can't I go...please?

Duo: No, we had a deal. You get the bathrobe you come _quietly._

Relena: *Sigh* Are you going to hurt me. 

Duo:....depends what you call "hurt" I'm not going to beat you or mentally injure you.

Relena:.......*Cough* What're you going to do?

Duo:....*Smirk*

Relena: *thinks* You could do whatever you like....as long as it makes my Ex jealous.

Duo:.....You want me to help you and I'm your KIDNAPPER?!

Relena: I *sob* hate him for it! *Sob* He went of with some girl *sob* and just LEFT me *sob* there.........*eyes water*

Duo:......uh.......riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight........SO! How do I help?

Relena: Pertend to be my boyfriend?

Duo: If he's dumped you will he get jealous?

Relena:....Heero's possesive. Even if you're not his girl friend anymore he'll be jealous.

Duo: Ah....ha.....

*Ring ring goes door bell*

Relena:...Oh my god! It's Heero...what a perfect opportunity.

Duo:....This is really weird.

Relena: *answers door*Oh! Hi Heero....I'm sorry this isn't a good time...

Duo: Hey hotstuff! Where'd you go babe!? 

Heero: What is.....

Duo:....Oh. Hi!....where's my shirt.... 

Relena: Heero, this is.....my new boy friend!

Duo: I'm Duo. Pleased to meet you....um.... 

Relena: This is Heero.

Duo:...Oh! So you're the one who....

Relena: Now, Now Duo. Please don't get........going about.........that.

Hilde: Uh....Hi ^.^;;

Relena:....So you're the one he.....uh.......well.....this really isn't a good time....as you can see.

Heero: *Tries to blush for the sak of it but can't* Hilde, perhaps....another time.

Hilde: But it's......

Relena: Bye!

Duo: That was weird.....now, I kidnap you! 

Relena:.....Uh..........no?

Blue: Cut!....No mistakes!!! Amazing!!! 

Shenni: BED TIME!

Everyone: Aww.


	8. Selling them drugs.

Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

Duo: Ne, when's MY next scene?

Relena: I believe it's after the next Heero Hilde one.........

Heero: *Mutters something incomprehensible under his breath....*

Relena: Oh, Heero. Don't be like that. I'm stuck with Duo. *Smiles at him*

Heero: *Eyes Duo evily*

Duo: BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!! *Edges away from Hee-chan*

Hilde: So when's my next scene?

Une: I think it's after my and Treize's scene....which is.....um.......

Blue: Lights, camera,

Shinni: ACTION :)

Blue: ¬_¬

Shinni: ~.^

Blue: ¬_¬

Une: Treize......when's the next shipment going out?

Treize: Shhhh...........*Looks around* Tomorrow.......We have buyers as well...

Une: And no one knows about the plan.........

Treize: *Nod* And I'll finally have Wufei for my self....

Wufei: WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE-ONNA?!!!!

Treize: I'm sure you love me like a rose loves water, like-

Wufei: IF WE DIDN'T NEED TO YOU TO FINISH THIS SOAP OPERA SO WE COULD ESCAPE I'D KILL YOU!!!!!!!

Treize: I know you're just trying to hide your feelings.

Wufei:....THE HELL?!

Blue: *Grin* Cut.

Une: TREIZE!!!!!!! You're cheating on me!? 

Wufei: I'd have to be with him for him to be cheating on you weak onna!!!!!!!

Une: Who're you calling weak?!

Shinni: SHUT THE HELL UP AND START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Une: *Nods*

Duo: AC-

Shinni: ACTION!

Une: Treize......when's the next shipment going out?

Treize: Shhhh...........*Looks around* Tomorrow.......We have buyers as well...

Une: And no one knows about the plan.........

Treize: So that means we have sometime alone.

Une: *Places hands on Treize's shoulders* How long were you...planning on?

Treize: All weekend.

Une: Just you and me?

Trieze: And Wufei too!

Une: SHUT THE HELL UP ASSHOLE!

Trieze: Ahem. I beleive it's time to "Cut" 

Blue: CUT!

Shinni: Lights Camera Action!

Blue: ^.^;;

Treize: All weekend.

Une: Just you and me?

Treize: As long as the plan goes well.

Hilde: *Hiding* I knew it! I knew it was them!

Une: Treize? Did you hear something?

Treize: *Busy* What?

Une: Trieze! Not here!

Treize:.......sorry.......I just got carried away..........

Une: I'm gorgeous arn't I?

Treize:...uh.........yeah.

Shinni: Cut! Trieze? You're supposed to say that ENTHUSIASTICALLY!

Une:...You.....you don't think I'm beautiful?

Treize: Not as Beautiful as Wufei....

Wufei: KUSHRENADA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA- 

Treize: Wufei, I need-

Wufei: You need a kick up the-

Blue: Wufei!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Uh....FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Silence*

Shini: Thanks Duo^.^ 

Trieze: Wufei, have I ever told you that you look good in spandex?

Wufei:...How.....How do you know I try on Heero's clothes?

Heero: Chang.............

Wufei: At least they never saw me in Winners............

Quatre: OH MY ALLAH!

Treize: And you have a voice not unlike a lark, It's so beautiful, so full of emotion, It makes me love you even more, especially when you sing Britney Spears!

Wufei:............Uh............uh............uh..........THAT WASN'T ME YOU BAKA! THAT WAS MY UNHONOURABLE TWIN!

Treize: You have a twin?

Wufei: Uh.......yeah.................

Treize: Maybe he'll go out with me.....................What's his name?

Wufei:....uh....Wuwei?

Treize: Where does he live?

Duo: LALA LAND! With the Teletubbies!

Wufei: Actaully he lives in....CANADIA! 

Treize: Canadia? Don't you mean Canada? 

Wufei: Nooooo.............

Treize: But how could he have been singing in your room yesterday?

Wufei: He came over for a day? How did you know he was there?

Blue: START ACTING YOU STUPID BAKAS BEFORE I-

Wufei:Uh.....yeah.... *Anything to stop Treize.*

Shinni: GOD DAMN YOU ALL! ACTION! 

Une: I'm gorgeous arn't I?

Treize: Why my lady, you're the most beaustiful being ever to grace the earth...

Une: Really? Oh my, Treize.....

Hilde: *Rolls her eyes and mimes being sick* I have to get back to Heero. *Heero*

*Cut and restarts scene in Heero's office* 

Heero: Hilde.

Hilde: Heero, it's those two new doctors, Une and Treize.

Heero: Hilde.

Hilde: We must get Relena to inform DR Merquise immediatly!

Heero: Hilde.......

Hilde: Did you hear a word of that Heero Yuy?

Heero: Of couse I did Hilde. How could I not listen to your voice?

Hilde: Heero I-

Heero: *Gets up and kisses her*

Hilde: Mpppphhh! Heeho! Mmm............... 

Heero: Hilde I, *Holds her*

Hilde: Oh Heero, tonight is still on isn't it?

Heero: I was asking you the same thing. 

Heero and Hilde: I'll see you at 9:00.


	9. How romantic *Smirk*

Gundam wing soap opera:

Secret hospital Gdw.

* * *

(We want everyone to note that me and Shini...yeah. Guess who the authoress of the chapter is AGAIN ...um...yeah. We 

....um...*I* HATE the 1xH pairing..it's just....wrong.)

Blue: Okay Heero, no unnecesary stops *Looks at script*

Heero *Grits his teeth* Hn.

Hilde: *Puts arm around his shoulder* Don't _worry _Heero. It'll be fine.

Sally: Excuse me but I havn't had much to do yet, nor has Wufei....

Shini: Yeah, well you have to be brought in first. Lights, Camera, ACTION!

Hilde: *Takes Heero's arm* Come in Heero...oh. You're right on time.

Timer on oven: Ding!

Hilde: Oh, I'll get that! (A/N: No duh, the guest doesn't fetch dinner..But, hey soaps do that type of thing.)

Heero: I'll just sit down *Sits at the table*

Hilde: *Comes back with a roast chicken...why do they have roast chicken so much in these things?!*

Heero: That looks nice Hilde.

Hilde: Thank you Heero^.^

Heero: I'll light the candles.

Hilde: I'll turn out the lights. *Turns out the lights too soon so Heero set fire to his finger* 

Heero: *Whispers* shi** *lights the candles*

Hilde: This is so romantic Heero....

Heero: *Trying not to make a mistake by smiling slightly sickly and holding his hand under the table.* Yes Hilde...

*Candles go out some how on Shini and Blue's whim.*

*Weird glow comes under the table where Heero's finger is still on fire.*

Heero: *Quickly squishes finger against table so it goes out*

Hilde: Oh...I should get the matches. *Finds matches* 

Heero: *Sucks his finger in the dark to cool it down, then moves over to Hilde.*

Hilde: *Squeaks when Heero grabs her waist*

Heero: Gotcha.....

Hilde: *Bats his hand away* Cheeky......

Heero: Are you okay Hilde? Your mind seems to be elsewhere.

Hilde: I'm kind of worried about those people smuggling drugs out of the hospital...

Heero: *Frowns* Not this again......Why don't you just tell the police.

Hilde: Oh, yes, but I'm worried about the hospital. What if it's shut down?

Heero: Hn.........

Hilde: I'm not the only person whos mind is somewhere else Heero. What's bugging _you_? 

Heero: Well, I called Relena so she could talk to DR Merquise and she wasn't there.

Hilde: Heero, I know she's your _friend_ but Relena's a big girl. She can take care of herself.

Heero: I know, but she wasn't there the entire day and then when I called at 11:00 she wasn't there........

Hilde: 11:00? PM? Are you SERIOUS?!

Heero: It....isn't like that Hilde! But then I went over to check an hour later and she STILL wasn't home!

Hilde: *Concerned now* Do you think she's okay?

Heero: I dunno............

Hilde: *Has an idea* Oh! Maybe she's over at her new boyfriends place........

Heero: *Grits teeth*

Hilde: She could've stayed the night...

Heero: *Gives Hilde a weird look* The night?

Blue: CUT!

Shini: Great! Okay, next will be Duo and Relena's scene!

Duo: *Wary* It IS this episode isn't it?

Blue: Yup^.^ Oi, Did you guys know it's going to be on air next week?

Relena: Oh my....We'll have to see it!

Dorothy: I think that is the idea Miss Relena.

Noin: *Blushes*

Milliardo: Noin, what's wrong?

Noin: Our....scene....

Quatre: Oh Allah!!!!!!!!!!!

Cathy: Hmmm......This should be rather....interesting........... 

Trowa:...It's better than getting knives thrown at me.....

Cathy: Trowa, brother, I know no one will appreciate this comment but please..Be quiet.

Shini: Rolling!

Duo: So Relena, how're you feeling?

Relena: Great! So how much will you be sending in the randsom note?

Duo: How much does your brother make a year?

Relena: *Proud* about 1,000,000 a year! The hospital IS famous and Milliardo runs it^.^

Duo: So.......I'll be sending a note for..........10,000,000! I hope he likes to save up...............

Relena: He puts it in the bank.

Duo: So, are you thirsty?

Relena: Orange juice?

Duo: What about coke?

Relena: Brother says that rots your teeth.

Duo: Not if you brush!!!

Relena: Wellll, I guess I should try something new.......

Duo: o.o; Don't tell me you've never tried coke!

Relena: Mother and father never let me. Neither does brother.

Duo: o.o; I guess.....I'll get us 2 cokes............

Relena: Okay! I'll just.....kick back in this chair............ 

Duo: *Is pleased Relena is a happy kidnappee* I thought I have her yelling adn screaming at me. I chose the right rich bitch.....

Relena: I heard that!

Duo: Damn..................

Relena: *Yawns* Man I thought he'd be evil and starve me and all. Maybe if I behave I'll be treated like royalty.................... 

Duo: Diet coke and coke....... *Goes back* Here. Diet coke is better for you....I think..............

Relena: Okay *Drinks it*

Duo: How d'ya like it?

Relena: *Drinks it all*.....good.................

Duo: Hee hee^.^ Good. Call me if you need anything..........

Relena: *Nods*

Blue: *Makes the scene fade by putting the colour and sharpness on the camera down..I swear that works!* CUT!

Duo: How'd we do?

Shini: It was beleiveable!!!!

Duo: *Does stupid dance*

Heero: *Looks at "The dancing moron*

Blue: Anyway, The soap is airing next week!

Shini: Yeah! And we left the mistakes in! *Turns on sheild around them as pesky gundam girls/guys throw them selves against it trying to attack the 2 inside*

Blue: Man, all these bugs hitting the windscreen......

Shini: *Nods*


End file.
